whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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