someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
nutella sex= disaster
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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