About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
