He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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