is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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