New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We left the knife in your bed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
