What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She even gives head with a lisp.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
