I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
4 words: hood of his car
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
