Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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