Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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