what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
