lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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