Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
