I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
