Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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