just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
