Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
