Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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