how can u be prego again
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
