I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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