just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
