No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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