idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
