Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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