I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
