You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
