Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Found your dick twin last night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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