We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
