If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
