no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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