these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
