I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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