Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
