he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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