we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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