so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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