A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
