I can text with my tongue
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
