I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
