Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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