i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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