Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
