bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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