i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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