she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
