Sponge bath it is.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
