Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
