Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
