I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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