i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
