Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
