Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
