we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
