Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
