hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When are your genitals available?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
