Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
