She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
